we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As shirtless as possible
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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