the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Quick, to the slutcave!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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