What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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