Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
