Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize