dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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