I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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