I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
