He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
