ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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