watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
