Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i think im in europe. pls send help
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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