i jhust puked up my retainher.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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