I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
