I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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