I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize