I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
