I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
