All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize