She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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