it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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