It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
