Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
