Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You can't motorboat a personality
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
