me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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