I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
