I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am one with the molecules
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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