So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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