my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
