Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
