someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
