I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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