Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
