hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you bring me the toilet please
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
