singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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