Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
