So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
