so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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