My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
