I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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