you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
