he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize