there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
