I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
