so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
