What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
