I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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