Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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