How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
