I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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