one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
