FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
