i'm signing you up for texting rehab
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
