I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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