i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize