He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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