Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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