he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
