you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize