I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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