the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
