i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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