she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
