DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
