I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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