Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
