sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
