she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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