you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
