Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
