you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I understand Curling. That high.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize