everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
