last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
