I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
