just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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