At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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